Dancing in the Reign: Boston, the most obnoxious sports city in the USA.
I HATE BOSTON. This should be the clincher for my first sentence, but there’s so much more. Folks, a piece on this topic could go on forever. Only a few people who I know understand how much I hate the city, and how much I despise of the professional sports teams. So I won’t even begin to get into it. Anyway, thought I’d attempt to try to give the “hungover/not-drunk or not drunk enough yet hockey fans in Los Angeles during a perfect mid-70′s and sunny winter day who are indoors watching hockey” a little more incentive to enter Staples ready to fucking go.
Wait, do I need to do this?
Look, chances are, if you’re from Boston and live in Los Angeles, you’re a Bruins fan. I mean I can give the city of Boston this: They’re pretty loyal to their teams. But when it comes to the most loyal of cities, not even CLOSE. You bandwagon pirates. But aside from those Boston-ers, the city of LA is maybe the most diverse melting-pot of sports teams in the US of A. How many of you, like myself, grew up in a major city (Cleveland, for example) without an NHL team? I’m sure many. And I’m sure atleast a few of you adopted the Kings as your NHL team of choice since moving here, am I right? But how many times has…some team from Bos–you know what i mean, broken your true home team’s heart? How much do you hate that Boston accent? How unnecessarily sorry do those fans feel for themselves? How many douchebags can wear those fake “oh, my hat is so old and awesome that the brim is torn” red sox caps? No! Just No! And how many times do you see this in Boston? If your girl is worth anything, you buy her the real thing, or even the replica of the REAL DESIGN, you tool. But wait, they are from Boston, so I guess it kinda works out? I mean, this guy is your commentator. The famous Jack Edwards, ESPN2′s 1990′s go-to for irrelevant Wednesday night hockey games. It all just kind of adds up, doesn’t it? Your NFL Coach is a cheater. Your MLB team was juiced. Your NBA fans are fairer than the weather in LA. So, go Kings. Send a message to the most obnoxious sports city in the country. Whether you’ve got the Broncos, Knicks, Phillies, or any other team for that matter under your Kings jersey tomorrow, take one look at the name posted on the scoreboard, and think about that city for one second. This 1:00pm game suddenly is a bit more interesting. Screw you Boston, Massachusetts. Go Kings.